Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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