we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
