I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
