I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize