well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
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