Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
