Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
not ubering you a puppy
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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