I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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