plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Randomize