just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
