Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Verdict: uncircumcised.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
