Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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