margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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