I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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