Kiss
Puke
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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