so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
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