It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
