It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
