My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Dicks are not precious.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
