goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
either way he was missing a nipple.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
whose ass print is on the piano?
Alive.
So much puke
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
