You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
