There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
