I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
