i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
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