How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Randomize
