We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
