So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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