The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
