I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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