He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
he was CRYING into my vagina
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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