I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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