I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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