Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
