i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
So much rum. So many feels.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize