We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
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