It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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