do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
party gras won. party gras always wins.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
