I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
