i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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