She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
