Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
