you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
