no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
