When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
