can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Randomize
