How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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