this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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