i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
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