Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
