Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
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