Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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