I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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