you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Randomize
