i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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