the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
