while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
