this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
I'm having to shit out rocks
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