He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
