Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize
