Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
this beer tastes like vomit already
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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