Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Randomize
