He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
dude. I can hear the air.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
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