Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I can't put those talents on a resume
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
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