my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
