just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
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