Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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